Sweepless in Seattle: Guards Split the Series

I don’t know why Cleveland gets shafted with opening games on the West Coast, but it’s been four years now that Guards Fans have to stay up late on a weekday:

Year	Opponent	Location
2026	Seattle Mariners	Seattle, WA
2025	??? Athletics	West Sacramento, CA
2024	Oakland Athletics	Oakland, CA
2023	Seattle Mariners	Seattle, WA

I don’t actually know what to call the Athletics anymore.

And they’re all night games! This was rough for me, being done at 10pm because I had to calm down and work the next day, but for my family in Cleveland? Ouch! Saturday’s game ended at 1am Eastern!

Anyway…

Series Results

We split the first series of the season, with two wins and two losses. One game (3) went into extra innings.

While we are nowhere near as error prone as 2025, I’m seeing glimmers of bad third base calls. Trying to score from third on a mid-depth fly to Arozarena is just stupid. That’s the stuff that gets you mocked in MLB The Show. I can’t imagine Hoskins thought that up on his own.

Our starting pitchers are troubling as well. I like Bibee, but he’s too emotionally erratic to be an “ace” and it shows. Williams is solid, usually, but he gives up too many walks, same as last year. We really need an Ace Pitcher or someone who can act like a mood maker for the pitchers. They’re not bad at all, but we seem to make better relievers than starters right now.

Overall the weather was astoundingly good for Seattle, and they kept the cover off for three of the four games. I’m about 150 miles north of Seattle (thank Jobu that MLB doesn’t think that makes me a Seattle local…) and it was cool but lovely.

Highlights

Heads up, the second number in parentheses is the overall game number. It’ll make more sense next series.

Seattle’s park plays large, meaning you have to hit it harder to get out of the park, due to the damp air. The roof is really a cover, as it’s actually open on the sides! I’m starting to think all fields need that.

Game 1 (1) – Won

• Chase DeLauter decided to start his rookie year off with two home runs. Massive dinger alerts!
• Rhys Hoskins was three for three with a walk for added mustard.
• José Ramírez hit a bases clearing two run double, and stole third, because he’s the GOAT.
• Tanner Bibee left the game after five innings with what they believe is a mild strain. They’re evaluating him day to day.
• Steven Kwan started at left but moved to center midway, after Angel Martinez was pulled in as pinch hitter.

Game 2 (2) – Lost

• Steven Kwan started his first game in center. CJ Kayfus got his first start, and took left.
• DeLauter solo’d another home run to start off the game. He has some time until the other teams get a good read on him, and the boy is taking everyone advantage possible and knocking the ball out of the park. Expect his home run derby to slow down in a month.
• Instead of calling a Mariner who was caught easily when stealing a “dead pigeon,” Hammy called him a “dead tuna” and then spent some time trying to decide if it should be a salmon instead.
• Bo Naylor’s bat hasn’t been quite as productive, but his catching has moved from good to elite, throwing out runners like a boss. He finally got his first hit in the 9th.

Game 3 (3) – Won

• In deference to his numerous injuries, DeLauter started as DH for the first time. He also didn’t hit a home run in the first inning. It’s probably coincidence, since he hit a two run dinger in the 10th. CDL is the second player to ever hit four home runs in their first three games.
• Manzardo got his first start at first. He’s not a bad first baseman, and honestly I think it would do him good to have more reps there.
• Fry started behind the dish, which makes sense since Sunday’s game was earlier and catching is rough. His catching still isn’t as good as his batting, but he did a solid job.
• José hit the ball so hard for his RBI double plus 1, the bat actually bowed! Also? That was his 400th career double. He’s third in Cleveland records for most doubles.
• Cade Smith had his first blown save of the season. He held them to a tie, but extra innings suck.

Game 4 (4) – Lost

• The game was just brutal.
• Hancock, the Seattle starter, historically pitches well against Cleveland. And he did again.
• It rained for the first time in Seattle.
• While Cleveland didn’t make any errors in the game until the 8th, their lack of solid defence was the cause of the loss.
• Literally minutes after Hammy said that the boys hadn’t made any errors, Arias bobbled and got the first error of the season. You did this, Hammy!

Home Run Humour

Over the last few years, teams have been doing weird stuff when people hit a home run. I had thought Cleveland was exempt, but it turns out we were just waiting for the right moment to join the fun.

And if you were like me going “what the ever loving shit is that?” then I will tell you.

It’s the fault of mood maker and clubhouse hero, Austin “bare butt” Hedges! The Hedgehog has a sense of humour and he also wants the team to be a team. So he took everyone to Medieval Times back in Scottsdale Arizona, before they left Spring Training.

You have to love The Hog.

Apparently they also bought a (blunt) sword, and Hedgey knights the MVP of the games they win. Something tells me it was CDL for both win.

Bonus Butt

The photo came fuzzed out.