Regular Season
2026 Standings
STK: L1
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Rocky Mountain High: Guards Sweep!
It’s a sweep of the Colorado Rockies at Mile High Coors Stadium! Four wins in a row! It’s called a streak, they’ve happened before.
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The Bigger They Are, The Harder the Trade Hits
Tugboat won one for the Giants but the Guards take the series for a win, at freakin’ last, in an NL Homestand. They still need to get consistent hitting, and are treading water in the…
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Slapped Silly by San Diego at Home
Lost two out of three to the Padres, which wasn’t unexpected. José is playing better, Bibee’s curse continues, and Kwan’s second-half play astounds.
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Clawing a Single Victory in the Tiger’s Den
Finally snapped our losing streak and had a decent game. Hits and homers and four out saves, oh my. And yet we still went 1-3 in the series, which is pretty much our new normal.
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(Not) Chipping Away Chicago’s Division Lead
The Sox kicked our asses, taking two out of three. Rain delays and bullpen woes are hitting the Guards hard
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Swept by the Last Place Mets? It’s Cleveland!
The new guys ain’t so bad! Arias got DFA’d, Genoa made history, and Austin Hedges is the best pitcher we have, in a three game rout by the Mets. Ouch.
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Bringing the Desert to Cleveland (aka we hit for shit)
Escaping a sweep on the arms of the bullpen is peak GuardsBall. We picked up an arm but will we get a bat tomorrow? God I hope so!
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Hot and Humid in Central Ohio for the Cup
A grand slam, a shut out, and a bunch of slap hitting shit goblins results in the Guards bringing the Ohio Cup home. Not that anyone cares about that.
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Stung in Tampa Bay for a 2 Shut-out Sweep
One hit? One lousy hit?! The Guards forgot hot to use the bats entirely, and until we can fix that, we ain’t goin’ nowhere.
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New Records and a Split With the Twins!
As it always is, Cleveland did great and then lost big. This time our bats did okay (except in the last game) and our fielding was iffy. Split series with the Twins.